I can exactly remember the first time…. I couldn’t swim at that time and this huge ocean was so so intolerable for me_ or at least I thought so then_... I cried, I tried not to drown… I tried to catch the beam of light I still could see… _ or at least I thought I could…_ I even held my hands soooo high so that you’ll see where I’m drowning… I thought you may once come for me… days pass… Or at least it was what I thought.. I couldn’t count days, cause in the depth I was passing life, light was the most meaningless word…. Let alone sunrises and sunsets… first years all I could do was to get more and more despondent of any rescue… as more years pass I came to doubt the initial beam of light… there were times I woke up in tears thinking of light… But I had no hesitation in considering it a passing whim…seconds pass and It was me to forget everything… I even get used to the salty tears _ cause the ocean’s water ‘s so salty…_each year there was a certain day, people came to remind me of my first day in the ocean… they never knew how huge this sorrow was to remind me of the beam of light I saw in a imaginary, foggy cute dawn………… My dear light! Your fish’s so lost… so absolutely unable to get through this whole ocean without you…… this time I’m tasting salt after 19 years of living in salty oceans……….